by (her daughter)
Jean Ellen McCaleb Frederickson
Daddy asked me for a copy of what I said at the memorial service as he
couldn’t process the information that fast. It was hand written, but I am
creating the document and sending it to every one.
Please remember that the things I said are a story from my memory of actual
events and stories that other people told me about events. I do not purport
any of this to be the actual truth. Every one of us will have a different
perspective and different memories and have been told different stories about
the past. It takes a lot of awareness even in the present moment to experience
the truth. The past is always a story we create.
Bettie Virginia Cline was the oldest in a family of 5 children. Her parents
were Early Dawn Sturdivant and Warren Whitney Cline. Her father and she had a
very close relationship and she loved him dearly. Like many mother-daughter
relationships, the one with her mother was complex. She grew up in an overly
responsible role, feeling she had to take care of her mother and the younger
children. She was a teenager when her brother Bill was born and she sometimes
felt like she was his second mother. She grew up in
a small town on the Virginia/West Virginia border. Her father was an
accountant and bank president. She told stories of taking the street car every
where they went in
They were a close, somewhat overprotective family. Nothing was wasted and
money was saved for a rainy day as they lived a simple lifestyle. They were a
strong Christian family. Her mother had been a Methodist before her marriage
and her father attend the Christian church and had strong opinions about
religion, as well as politics.
When Bettie graduated from high school she went to college at
and family while in college. She made a few good friends in college that she
kept in touch with the rest of her life. When she graduated from college she
taught in elementary school. She had teaching credentials in elementary math
and social studies. She taught in a rural school district and after a few
years considered herself an “old maid school teacher”, believing she would
never get married.
Meanwhile, Fred McCaleb returned from World War II and started work at the
Powder Plant in
when she noticed a handsome young man in the back row of the church. She left
the choir to sit beside him and say hello. From that point on it was only a
few months until they got married on Sept 7, l946. I can imagine that getting
married was one of the happiest days of her life. She later told me that she
would have liked to have had more time with Fred alone before the children came
along. But in August, l947, her first child, Jean Ellen McCaleb (me) was born.
The newly married couple were sharing an upstairs bedroom in the Cline house in
Radford when the new baby came into their life. They continued this for almost
2 years while Fred was building the house in Ripplemead. They lived briefly in
child Frederick Warren McCaleb was born on September 11, l949. They lived in
there James Arthur McCaleb was born 3-30-52 and Bettie Dawn McCaleb was born
12-10-55.
In l958 Bettie moved with her family to North Alabama where they lived in rural
communities near
job in the
separately from Fred out of necessity. I went to the
when they moved to
Briefly before finding a job with the US Geological Survey where she used her
math background to learn how to make maps and became a cartographer. This was
a job she enjoyed very much.
Bettie and Fred retired to Fayette county Alabama in the late l970’s and lived
in the 2 bedroom trailer while Fred completed the house they lived in until
2005, when they moved to Morningside Assisted Living. During Mother’s early
retirement she volunteered with the Fayette Nursing Home, with a hospice
program and with the Winfield Church of Christ where she helped with the meals
for shut ins program, from which she later received services herself.
The memories that I have of the things my mother enjoyed are as follows:
Mother loved to curl up with a good Christian romance novel and escape into the
lives of the characters. She especially enjoyed getting to the happy endings.
She was not a person who wanted to talk much about the unhappiness or
challenges of life. She loved to read to us as children and we enjoyed
snuggling next to her as she read us all the children’s classics from Louisa
May Alcott’s Little Women and Little Men to Freckles and Girl of the
Limberlost. She gave us the gift of loving to read.
She enjoyed cooking and had definite opinions about exactly it should be done as
she tried to teach me to cook. She continued cooking with Fred’s help in her
own kitchen long after she was wheelchair bound. The loss of being in charge
of her kitchen was her biggest grief when she moved to Morningside.
She also enjoyed gardening and her houseplants, as had her mother. She kept
descendents of her mother’s coleus plants alive, making cuttings and
re-rooting and passing them on to her daughters. I can remember helping her
with them even after she moved to Morningside.
Her family was important to her and she was always generous with them.
She was a woman with strong standards and strong faith. Since she had been
trained to be a teacher she could be stern at times. I was always afraid she
would be unforgiving when I erred, but she always came through with her love.
Her love and faithfulness to her husband was strong through thick and thin.
During the difficult times she did tend to get depressed and go inside herself,
but she endured the challenges of life. In her later years she had many
challenges. Besides being in a wheelchair for years, she had several major
surgeries for breast and colon cancer. She fought for her life and for what
she believed in.
Altogether, some of the happiest times of her life seemed to be when she was
able to serve others and to serve God. She enjoyed going to Christian
conventions, volunteering in the community and with her churches, and donating
to Christian organizations, such as the Mountain Mission school in
She gave us so many gifts we can’t list them all. From making our clothing as
children to helping us financially as young adults, to providing the opportunity
for college educations. She was a role model for patience and perseverance,
that we were not always able to follow.
From our parents, but especially from our mothers, we receive deep parts of
ourselves, our identity, who we are and grow up to be.
We are glad that she is no longer suffering and at peace, but we will miss her
greatly.
Thanks you mother for the gifts you have given us. We believe that you have
gone on to the happy ending of your story. Farewell.
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